


i'm a little lost in you (and everything you do)

by minimitchell



Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: M/M, Tags are in the chapters, prompt collection, prompts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:41:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27488992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minimitchell/pseuds/minimitchell
Summary: just a collection of prompts and oneshots
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Comments: 66
Kudos: 132





	1. fell in love at the seaside.

**Author's Note:**

> the angst-free brighton move in proposal we never got but deserved.
> 
> rated t, fluff, move in proposal, kissing

They have chosen the perfect day to do this.

There’s a slight breeze in the air and the weather is just nice enough that Ben doesn’t need a jacket over his maroon hoodie. It’s exactly how he envisioned this day to be and it fills him with this giddy excitement that’s become so foreign to him in recent times.

They have parked in one of the side streets near the pier, where the parking is horrendously expensive, but the ocean is already in sight.

Ben can honestly admit that he went a little teary-eyed when the first gentle crashing of the waves had filled his ears. He couldn’t help but step closer to the sea, hearing as much as feeling the little stone pebbles crunching underneath his feet.

Callum had let him; had been a mostly silent but still soothing presence next to him. It’s everything he wanted, everything he wished for, and he’s a little overwhelmed at the feeling of pure happiness cursing through him with every distant sound he can make out, every seagull he hears screeching in the sky above them and every kid that’s running around screaming.

It’s almost enough to overpower the nervousness he feels over asking Callum to move in with him, the red, velvety box with the key inside burning a hole into the pocket of his hoodie with every step they take along the row of little shops and restaurants to the side.

Almost.

He thought he did a good enough job to mask the nervous anticipation, but apparently he didn’t fully manage to convince Callum, because he lays one of his hands onto Ben’s thigh when they’re sitting down on one of the stone blocks that face the sea.

“You okay?”

He still signs the words along while he says them and it makes Ben’s heart thud in his chest because he’s never been more sure of anything than that he wants to live with this gentle and considerate man next to him. That he wants to wake up next to him every day, yell out for him when he comes home from work and fall asleep in the safety of his arms.

And yeah, they’ve been pretty much doing just that since they got together last year but he wants to make it official. To Callum and the rest of the world.

And more importantly, he never wants to make the choice to be away from Callum for so long ever again - especially not if it means that he can’t even touch or kiss him whenever he wants to.

Ben wants to brush the question off, because now that the perfect opportunity has come for him to ask, he’s scared out of his mind. Because what if Callum says no?

He wants to say it’s nothing important, but what comes out of his mouth is something completely different.

“I love you.”

Callum looks surprised if a little bewildered but Ben knows that this is the moment he’s been waiting for ever since he decided to do this, so he cuts Callum off before he can even reciprocate the sentiment.

“I missed doing things like this and I missed you. So much. Not having you by my side was so hard and I know we decided to stay at our own houses for good reasons but I still hated every second of it.”, Ben blows out a little breath, urged on by Callum’s thumb brushing gently across his skin, where it’s still positioned on his thigh. “I’ve been thinking-”

“Dangerous that.”

Ben smiles at the interjection and the smug look on Callum’s face, shaking his head a little in exasperation. He shushes Callum with a smile still firmly placed on his face, nerves slightly calmer now.

“ _I’ve been thinking_ that I wanted to have you with me all the time and I don’t ever want to be away from you again. So, uh, I wanted to give you this…”

He unearths the little, red ring box from the pocket of his hoodie, nearly dropping it in his nervous haste to open it and present the contents to Callum. Ben can’t hear whether there’s a surprised sigh escaping Callum’s mouth but he sees his mouth drop open slightly at the sight of the box, his eyes flicking from Ben’s face to the ring box and back again.

“Ben-”

Ben opens the box instantly, the light of the afternoon sun reflecting off the silver of the key, making it glint in an almost reverential way.

“It’s for my dad’s place. _My_ place. I just thought that, if you want to, I’d like for you to move in with me. And Lexi of course. And my dad, but let’s forget about that, yeah.”

When he finally finds the courage to look up from the ring and into Callum’s eyes, he’s met with a gentle smile and the warmest, blue eyes. Callum places the hand that’s not situated on Ben’s thigh on his cheek, index finger brushing against his earlobe in some weird symbolism.

“I’d love to.”

Ben leans forward to place a soft kiss onto Callum’s lips - because he can finally, finally do that again - in lieu of doing something embarrassing like burst into tears from sheer happiness.

He can’t wait to drive home, to _their_ home, but for now he’s more than happy here. With the waves crashing against the shore, the seagulls screeching above them, already waiting to steal their fish and chips later on, and Callum’s warmth all around him.

Yeah, definitely the perfect day.


	2. give me truth or give me you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ben confronts callum about the blood on his shirt. their argument turns into angry sex.
> 
> rated e, argument, angry sex, blowjobs, handjobs, porn with feelings

“Why don’t you start with whose blood that is on your shirt, eh?”

They’re standing in the hallway of the Vic, right outside the toilets, where Callum had pulled him to once Ben had started to ask a bit too many questions considering their very public setting in the beer garden. There aren’t many guests in the pub yet, most of them choosing to litter the outside and watch the comedy of Stuart still being stuck inside the hearse.

Callum had begged Ben to drop the topic, to just forget about it and let them have a good time today, but Ben hadn’t stopped the questions and accusations. He had demanded answers that Callum just couldn’t give to him. No matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much he just wanted to break down and confess all to his boyfriend, let them find a way out of this mess together.

But he knew that Ben would go absolutely mental at the mere mention of Danny, no less that Callum just made the mistake of battering him into a pulp while being recorded. He couldn’t even defend his actions if Ben were to ask. Somehow, pure rage had taken over his entire body once Danny had started threatening Ben’s life; had started hurling abuse at the most important person in _his life_. Phil had reassured him that he would take care of Danny so that Callum could go to the wedding and he desperately hopes that his outburst was enough to convince him that Callum really is on their side.

“Ben, please, can we not do this today? It don’t matter right now.”

“How can you say that? You disappear for hours, right, there’s no reaching you, and then you come back with blood on you. What are you playing at, Callum? What has my dad roped you into?”

Callum is only shaking his head, because there’s no way he’s telling Ben anything today. Not, when they’re supposed to be happy and in love, trying and failing not to think of the other when anyone mentions love or vows or commitment, bashfully smiling when Jay and Lola make jokes about them being next in line for the aisle.

He’s not going to ruin this just because he keeps falling from one mistake to the next, from one lie to the other.

“I don’t wanna argue today, please.”

Ben regards him for a moment, his gaze hard and unrelenting. He’s not going to back down, Callum can feel it, can see it in the way his mouth stays downturned and his eyes keep their glint of defiance.

“Then don’t talk to me for the rest of the day, yeah.”

He starts to leave, body already turning towards the exit and there’s no better way to describe the feeling taking over Callum’s body at the action than sheer panic. Because his mind already springs forward, as it always does, right to the worst possible outcome. He can see Ben leaving the Vic, painting on a smile so no one else will notice them not talking to each other for the rest of the day and tonight he will ask Callum to sleep on the couch, or somewhere else entirely. And then tomorrow, he’ll tell Callum that he changed his mind about them living together and that it’s over.

The thought alone makes him want to throw up.

“Don’t.”

He darts his hand out, catching Ben’s wrist at the last possible moment and pulls him back into him. He uses a little too much force, and in any other situation he’d immediately apologize for being a bit too rough, but he succeeds in pulling Ben flush against him.

The look on Ben’s face is absolutely livid for a moment, before it morphs into something else. There’s a different kind of fire in his eyes all of a sudden and his gaze drops down to Callum’s mouth for a long minute. They’re both heaving breaths. In fact, it’s the only sound filling the tiny room for a while before Ben hurtles forward and presses their lips together in a biting kiss.

It’s not a nice, romantic kiss; not like the ones they share every night now before falling asleep tangled together in the same bed. It’s desperate, fueled by the anger and irritation still bubbling under the surface. Ben lets out a small, high-pitched whine when their tongues meet, trying to chase after it when Callum leans back to breathe.

Ben fists a hand into the pink fabric of Callum’s tie, pulling him backwards into the men’s room and feeling the embroidered pattern underneath his fingertips. Callum kicks the door shut behind them, turning slightly to twist the key in the lock. Ben uses the shift in position to press his mouth to the stretched skin of Callum’s neck, biting at the skin there until it’s red and angry. He doesn’t even care that everyone who takes a long look at them afterwards will definitely know what they’ve done here, they need to release this pressure, this tension between them and this is the best way they know how.

They’re not always great at talking about their feelings. Ben’s fear of being vulnerable and Callum’s years of denial working together to form an impressive barrier for their emotions that’s too hard to overcome sometimes. But this, this is what they’re good at - exceptional even.

The slide of their slick lips together, the press of hands against naked skin, the determination to take each other to incredible highs. This is where they excel, where they leave behind every miscommunication and every bit of irritation at each other and the world around them. It’s just _them_ every time their bodies find each other in perfect unison.

Callum’s hands drop down to the black leather of Ben’s belt, making swift work of opening it and popping open the button of his suit trousers. Ben lets his hands travel up Callum’s chest and over his shoulders, finally stripping him off his coat and letting it fall onto the dirty bathroom floor, forgotten about immediately.

Ben is silently bemoaning his original plan of getting Callum out of his suit tonight, where he’s get to take his time and drive him mad by slowly taking him apart piece by piece. They don’t have anything to prep with on hand - of course they don’t, it’s not exactly like they planned for any of this to happen - but Ben is certainly not about to say no to Callum. He doesn’t think he ever could.

Callum drops to his knees while pulling down Ben’s pants and underwear, letting them pool around his ankles. He doesn’t waste much time before putting his mouth on him, circling the head of Ben’s dick with his lips. Ben’s head drops backwards on a groan and his hand grapples for purchase on the sink behind him until it eventually settles on digging into the meat of his shoulder, nails denting the skin even through the layers of clothes he’s still wearing.

Callum isn’t pulling any punches with this either, hollowing out his cheeks and bobbing his head up and down quickly, almost desperately. It feels like he has something to work through as well and Ben thinks it says a lot about them and their relationship that they both find this to be the best way to work through their issues - by trying to make the other feel as good as possible.

“Fuck, Cal.”

There’s heat crawling up Ben’s spine already, the tell-tale signs that his orgasm isn’t too far off only enforced by Callum pulling off of him to slide his tongue along the underside of his head before toying with the slit, lapping up the beads of precum gathering there.

Ben’s hand moves from Callum’s shoulder to his throat, thumb settling just at the base of it and feeling him contract around his dick as he swallows, drawing another loud moan from the back of Ben’s throat. He’s close, so close, and he has half a mind to tug on Callum’s neck in warning, but all he does is swallow around him again, taking all of Ben’s release when he’s helpless to do anything but come in response to it all.

He gives Ben barely a minute to catch his breath and come down from his high before there are lips pressed against his own again, the taste of himself on Callum’s tongue drawing a groan from deep within his chest. It takes him a few tries to get Callum’s suit pants open enough to free his dick from its confines - Callum’s tongue and his big hands on his face temporarily distracting him - but he eventually manages to wrap a hand around his hard cock.

Callum’s moan at the motion breaks the connection of their lips and he presses his forehead against Ben’s instead, eyes firmly shut closed and mind solely on the pleasure his boyfriend brings him at this moment and nothing else. There’s no space between them for thoughts about arguments or questions about divided loyalty right now. There’s only white-hot passion and the sound of their ragged breathing, interspersed with groans and skin gliding against skin.

Ben twists his hand just right on the upstroke and it’s enough to send Callum tumbling over the edge as well, scrunching up the crisp white of Ben’s shirt underneath his hands and letting out a groan that barely resembles Ben’s name anymore. He falls against Ben’s body afterwards, tucking his face into his neck while he comes down. Ben wraps one of his arms around his body, the other blindly searching for the towels on the sink behind them to clean up.

He’s almost certain that there’s cum on the sleeve of his suit jacket and both of their shirts are damp with sweat, but Ben doesn’t really care. Not when Callum untucks his face from Ben’s neck and presses their lips together in a soft kiss; so much softer than how they were only moments ago.

They’re just looking at each other for a while when they both lean back, getting a bit lost in the blue of each other’s eyes and the feeling that never really lessened since they got together.

But the worry still lingers in the back of Ben’s mind, now that he isn’t preoccupied with other emotions anymore. He’s willing to let it rest, for now, for Callum, but it doesn’t mean that he’ll drop it completely and he needs Callum to know that.

“This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, you know.”

“I know. Just- can we please have a good time today? I just wanna get drunk with my boyfriend, see my brother be happy and not worry about work or your dad or anything else.”

Ben pulls the edge of his bottom lip into his mouth, obviously contemplating Callum’s words, before giving him a small nod.

“Okay. But we _will_ talk about this.”

Callum gives him a nod in return, happy to have at least postponed the conversation to tomorrow. He doesn’t know what to tell Ben then either, doesn’t know how much honestly - if any - is going to alleviate the pressure in his chest every time he thinks about the mess he got himself in. But it’s okay for now. Ben is the only thing he needs and as long as they’re okay, he doesn’t need anything else. No job or reluctant alliance could ever be more important than the man in front of him.

Once they look at least somewhat presentable again, Ben moves to unlock the door and join the rest of the wedding party, until he’s stopped by Callum who takes his face into both of his hands, angling it so that Ben is looking directly at him.

“I love you and I’d do anything for you, you know.”

Ben looks like he wants to ask, wants to pry and dig until he unearths the meaning behind Callum’s sudden declaration, but he decides against it, sticking to what they just agreed on. Even if it kills him a little to obviously be the one on the outside looking in this time.

“Yeah, me too. Always.”


	3. mask on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> spooky halloween smut based on this prompt by anon: "Kinda would love a masquerade mask party where Ben and Callum pretend to be strangers and have HOT HOT HOT sex - Bottom!Ben please - with the masks still in place"
> 
> rated e, roleplay, public sex, blowjobs, handjobs, slight exhibitionism kink, porn with feelings, ballumhalloween2020

“This seat taken?”

Callum looks up from his drink and into clear, blue eyes, surrounded by the dark silk of the man’s mask. There’s some fake blood dripping from the corner of his mouth and he’s wearing a cape over a black dress shirt and dark pants. He’s obviously supposed to be a vampire, albeit a kind of low-budget one. 

Granted, it’s not like Callum himself can talk; his costume consists of his old work suit and a painted-on moustache in a sad bid to look like Gomez Addams. It was a sort of last minute decision to go to this year’s Halloween party in the Vic, which explains why the only mask he was able to find is a black, glittery one, that completely messes with the rest of his outfit.

It’s the theme for the party tonight - everyone has to wear a mask. It’s a fun idea; even if you can still kind of tell who’s who, there’s a little element of mystery to it all.

The guy in front of him definitely wears the mystery well though. There’s some fire in his eyes, the interest clear as day, and Callum is very much on board with this. He nods and gestures to the seat next to him at the far-end of the bar, watching the man as he sinks into it and immediately turns towards him.

“All alone tonight?”

“Seems like it.”

Flirting isn’t really his strong suit; he’s more of a romance and rose petals kind of guy. It doesn’t deter the guy though, on the contrary, he tilts his head to the other and there’s a devastating smirk crawling onto his face at the confirmation that Callum is here alone.

“Let me buy you another drink then.”

He’s already motioning for the barman before Callum can even agree to his proposition and it doesn’t take that long for another beer to appear in front of him, the guy handing over some notes to pay for both of their drinks. He goes to clink their pints together but Callum moves his glass back towards him before they have the chance to meet.

“I don’t even know your name. Bad luck, innit.”

It’s a complete lie; just a pretense to find out the guy’s name, to tease him a little bit. By the looks of it, it’s working well, if the way his eyes darken that little bit is anything to go by.

“Ben.”

He holds his pint forward again, rim tilted towards Callum, his tongue running along his bottom lip. Callum is transfixed by it; has to follow it with rapt attention. He lets Ben wait for another moment, almost enough for him to pull his glass back again, before he finally clinks their glasses together.

“I’m Callum.”

They hold each other’s gaze while taking a long pull from their beers and just this simple act is so full of sexual tension that Callum can barely swallow the alcohol in his throat. He’s about to suggest that they get out of here and go back to his house when one of Ben’s hands finds its way onto his thigh, effectively cutting off any possible remark in his brain. It slides further towards the inseam of his suit pants and then slowly inches upwards, closer and closer to his groin. There’s a wicked smile on Ben’s face, the rich blue of his eyes slowly being swallowed more and more by the black of his pupils.

“You know, Callum, I live just ‘round here.”

Callum gets what he’s implying, of course he does, but he hesitates to take him up on his offer. He wants him and it’s more than obvious that Ben wants him as well, but for some reason, he doesn’t really want to be taken home by him right now. There’s fire licking up his spine, anticipation making every extremity tingle and burn, and he doesn’t want to waste those precious minutes it’ll take for them to make their way to Ben’s home. Not when he knows that there’s somewhere a lot closer they can go - the thrill of it technically being in public only adding to the fire in his veins.

“Me too. Can’t really wait that long though.”

His words make Ben bite his bottom lip in response, eyes travelling over the expanse of Callum’s body. He regards him for a couple of moments, almost so long that Callum thinks he’s about to decline the offer, before he gets up from his seat and threads their hands together, pulling Callum with him.

“Come on then.”

It seems like Ben has the same idea Callum had, because he pulls them both through the heavy, wooden doors into the backroom of the Vic and then into the toilets, checking to make sure they’re the only ones in there before he finally seals their mouths together in a fiery kiss.

The kiss is heated and hurried, but so so good. Their tongues brush together briefly but it’s enough to make want spread throughout Callum’s entire body, his hands coming up to squeeze Ben’s waist before they’re making their way to the man’s neck, settling just under his jaw. Ben makes these little noises whenever one of them dives back in for another kiss and it’s intoxicating to say the least.

When they both come up for air next, Ben uses the moment to walk them backwards and into one of the stalls along the back, pressing Callum against the now closed door of it. He dips his head to mouth along the sharp edge of Callum’s jawline, darting his tongue out to run along the skin afterwards.

“Are we really gonna do this here?”

The question makes Ben kiss up his neck and lips again, pulling back to catch Callum’s eyes.

“Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it. Besides, this was your idea, Cal. You wanted to do a little ‘roleplay’.”

He’s right, of course he is, how could he not think about dragging his boyfriend in here to have his way with him whenever they’re sat around a table and Ben is laughing, is looking, like he does. He’s pretty much irresistible to Callum and they aren’t exactly shy or conservative when it comes to sex. And Callum isn’t afraid to bring up things he wants to try anymore, completely confident that Ben will agree to try pretty much anything as long as Callum is into it.

And he did agree when Callum brought up the idea of pretending they don’t know each other at this party and feign that they’re just two strangers meeting and having some fun with one another. It feels good, right even, that they can be spontaneous and open like that. That they can try things and have a partner that’s not judging, but always willing to go along with their wishes.

“Yeah, you’re right, come on.”

They immediately get back into the swing of things, mouths and tongues sliding together and hands roaming each other’s bodies, unbuckling belts and prying open each other’s pants. Ben reattaches his mouth to Callum’s neck, sucking on the skin over his pulse point until Callum is panting into his ear. He runs his mouth along Callum’s neck until he reaches the side of his face, his mouth now right below his ear, breath fanning out over the shell of it.

“Did you like it? Some stranger chatting you up, buying you drinks, wanting to take you home with them?”

There’s no real jealousy in his voice. They both know for certain they only want each other; that they’ve only ever wanted the other since becoming serious. They don’t like to share, don’t want to, but he wants Callum to know that he’s desirable even if they were just pretending to be strangers. He would choose Callum in every version of his life, whether they knew each other or not. He’s sure of that.

“Only ‘cause it’s you.”

His last words are strangled, cut-off by a groan forcing its way out of his throat when Ben wraps his hand around his rapidly hardening cock. There’s some fake blood on Callum’s chin now, obviously caked from Ben’s face onto his while they were kissing and his little drawn-on moustache is smeared beyond recognition. He looks thoroughly debauched already and Ben absolutely loves it.

Ben drops to his knees in front of him, pulling his pants and boxers down just enough to get Callum’s dick free, trailing his tongue from the base all the way to the head. Callum lets out a groan at the action, tangling his hands into Ben’s hair.

The best thing about being together for almost a year now ist that Ben knows exactly what makes Callum tick; what makes him lose his mind. He knows to press his tongue just to the underside of the head, knows to tongue the slit on the upstroke and knows to keep as much eye contact as possible, because that really gets Callum going.

He hollows out his cheeks and runs his mouth up and down a few times, tongue darting out and tracing the thick vein in-between. Callum has to break the eye contact between them before he’s coming just from the sight of Ben on his knees in front of him and his head thumps backwards against the door, eyes squeezed shut.

It doesn’t really help, not seeing anything, because it only intensifies the feeling of pleasure Ben’s bringing to him with his talented mouth. What’s ultimately his undoing is Ben trailing one finger down to his rim, just pressing against his entrance, coupled with Ben humming around his dick. The vibrations send shockwaves through his whole body and before he can even warn his boyfriend, he’s coming down his throat with sharp pants and grunts.

Ben swallows him down completely, making sure that no drop escapes and stains the dark material of his suit pants, before he’s making his way up his body again until he reaches his mouth, making Callum taste himself on his tongue. They’re still trading kisses when Callum reaches down to Ben’s pants, lowering the zipper and getting Ben’s dick out of its confines.

He’s running his hand over it in a steady rhythm, running his thumb over the slit on every other upstroke. It makes Ben keen, his head falling forward into Callum’s neck, where he takes the skin back into his mouth, sucking on it and running his teeth along it.

Ben is well on his way to climax, can feel the white-hot pleasure of his orgasm approaching from how turned on he’s been practically since Callum had suggested this little charade, when they both hear the door to the toilets open and feet shuffle in. They catch each other’s eyes for a second, Callum stopping his movements on Ben’s dick. It’s like they’re silently communicating whether to try and keep going or wait it out, even if the idea of listening to some guy relieving himself isn’t the most arousing right now.

There’s a glint in Callum’s eyes suddenly and before Ben can question it, he continues tugging on Ben’s cock, harder and faster than before, letting the wet slap of skin against skin fill the little room. Ben can’t stop the loud moan from spilling out of his mouth and Callum’s smile is nothing short of devastating at hearing it. It’s the first time he’s even remotely let on that there’s some small exhibitionism kink hiding in him and the revelation does nothing but fuel Ben’s budding orgasm.

They barely register the embarrassed cough and the door opening and falling close again, too caught up in getting Ben to tip over the edge. It doesn’t take more than a couple more tugs from Callum’s hand, turning his wrist on the last stroke, before Ben is coming as well, coating Callum’s skin with cum.

Callum cards his hands through Ben’s hair and down his face until his breathing returns to normal and his heartbeat normalizes. He presses another deep kiss onto Ben’s lips, but it’s less heated now; slow and full of love this time.

He loves this about them; that they can be passionate and wild one minute and then soft and gentle the next. It’s been that way since the first time they collided with each other, like some sort of weird yin and yang, and it still remains the same today.

“That was something new.”

“I just hope it wasn’t someone we know.”

Ben’s pressing his forehead against Callum’s, laughter spilling out of his mouth that Callum joins in on immediately. Eventually, Ben pulls away and starts tucking them both back in, making them look as presentable as they can be. Callum’s gelled back hair is a mess, as is his face, caked in fake blood and smeared eyeliner. There’s glitter falling from his mask onto his cheekbones and the whole picture is equally funny and hot to Ben.

“God, your costume is shit.”

“Hey, Lexi did her best okay.”

They’re sharing another small smile with each other, Ben finally reaching up to take off Callum’s mask and Callum doing the same for him in return. They come together in another gentle kiss before carefully opening the stall door, making sure that they’re still alone in here.

“Come on, let’s go home. Callum, was it?”

Callum darts his hand out to swipe at Ben, but all he does is capture Callum’s hand in his, using it to wrap it around his body so their bodies come close again, Callum’s arms around him; chest against back. Someone yells at them when they go through the doors into the pub again, Callum not deciphering whether it’s because they’re not wearing their masks or because they just got off in the toilets, but he doesn’t even care. 

He’s happy and fucked-out and so in love and the best thing is, it’s all real and his forever.


	4. benmitchellweek - day 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is for day 1 of benmitchellweek for the prompt "you're not broken"
> 
> rated t, father - daughter relationship, future fic, questioning your sexuality

There’s music blasting through the closed door leading to Lexi’s room - some angsty teen pop star Ben has no idea about, since Callum is usually the parent who’s all too happy to accompany Lexi to all the concerts she wants to go to. Ben much prefers to be the dad, who takes his daughters shopping or to the beach.

Lately though, there hasn’t been much shopping or taking trips to the beach. And that isn’t just due to the fact that it’s nearly November and the air is crisp with wintery coldness. No, lately, they’ve only been getting to spend time with their younger daughter, Elizabeth. Lexi has been mostly absent, choosing to spend her time upstairs in her room listening to frankly abhorrent music and only coming down to exchange a few brief words with the rest of her family.

It’s so unlike her usual demeanor and it’s unnerving to say the least and every attempt from Ben and Callum to talk to her has ended in her claiming everything’s alright and going up to her room again. Ben originally thought that she’s maybe jealous of Ellie getting so much of their attention now that she was starting school, but even spending time with just Lexi had done nothing to brighten her mood lately.

He waits until he can hear the dull ‘come in’, almost completely overpowered by the music playing, pushing the door to Lexi’s room open. She’s sitting on her bed, head lowered and looking at something in her lap.

“Hey, baby. We wanna order some Chinese, you want some?”

“Not hungry.”

It’s the same answer she’s given them for days and Ben is more than worried by now. She takes after him in a lot of ways, becoming more and more clear the older she gets, and willfully denying food, especially Chinese, is far outside the realm of normality for her.

“Have you eaten anything at all today?”

Lexi shrugs her shoulders, still not looking up from what Ben can now see is her phone in her hands. He’s about to offer to make her something else when she lets out a little sob, shoulders shaking slightly. It makes Ben close the door behind him, coming to sit next to his daughter on her bed.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Talk to me, princess.”

There isn’t anything coming from her though, only the sound of quiet sniffles and another one of those angsty pop songs filling the room. Ben is ready to wait her out though; always ready to sit and wait until she’s ready to talk about whatever is bothering her. Whether that’s being annoyed at not getting to be the ring-bearer at his and Callum’s wedding or being scared that she wouldn’t be a good big sister. She always comes to talk to one of them in the end.

“Lex, you know you can talk to me about anything, right. I won’t be mad or disappointed or anything. Or if you want to I can get Callum up here. I just don’t wanna see you so sad.”

“How did you know?”

Her voice is small, barely audible, and she keeps peeling away the skin around her pink nails like she always does when she’s nervous.

“Know what?”

“How did you know you were gay?”

The words make everything in Ben’s brain halt, eyebrows coming up to his hairline, because this is truly not what he was expecting. He tries not to be put out by the fact that potentially being gay could be something she’s crying about, even if they’ve always taught her that it’s nothing to be ashamed of or anything but normal growing up.

“Oh. Well, I always felt different I guess. I thought it was down to other things, my hearing maybe. But when the lads at school and Uncle Jay started talking about girls, I didn’t get it. Didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, you know. Do you… think you are?”

Lexi gives another shrug only this time she’s looking up at him afterwards. It breaks Ben’s heart to see the tears shining in her eyes and he moves his hand to her face to swipe the tears away with his thumb. It always pains him to see his kids cry or upset, always has, especially when he knows he can’t do anything about it.

“I don’t know. I don’t really feel like that. At all. Like I don’t think about boys like that. But I also don’t think about girls.”

Ben thinks he knows what she’s explaining, what it could possibly mean, but he doesn’t want to put a label she hasn’t chosen herself on her for fear that it isn’t the right thing after all. The last thing he wants to do is make this any more complicated for her.

“Maybe you’re just not ready for all of that yet. And that’s okay. Trust me, as your dad I’d prefer no relationships until you’re at least 30.”

“Dad.”

He feels a little better about the small smile tugging on the corners of her mouth, much preferring this happier version of his daughter. He sends her a small wink before sobering up slightly, because this is a serious topic that requires some serious parenting skills from him. Thankfully, they have gotten a lot of experience these last few years with a teen and a toddler turning child.

“It could also be that you don’t feel attracted to anyone at all. Ever. Or that you need to get to know a person really well before you feel that attraction. Asexuality, demisexuality.. these things exist and they’re completely valid.”

“I just feel like I’m broken. Like I’m not normal.”

She lets out another sob, fresh tears springing from her eyes. Ben wraps an arm around her to pull her into his body, letting her press her face into his chest like she always did when she was little. They don’t do this a lot these days, what with Lexi being way too old and feeling too cool for this. But cuddling with their youngest doesn’t always make up for a hug from his older daughter.

“Hey, you’re not broken, Lexi. If this is what you’re feeling then that’s completely normal. You’re perfect in every way, you hear me? And I’m not just saying that because I’m your dad.”

He presses a kiss onto her dyed hair, feeling her squeeze his side in response. He doesn’t really know where to go from here, can’t really think of how to guide her through this except for sending her a bunch of articles to read through. Maybe Callum will have a better idea on what to do, assuming Lexi is okay with him telling his husband about this.

“You know, whether you feel like this or not, whether you want to label it or not, I love you with all my heart.”

“Love you, too, dad.”

Lexi still seems down about the situation but at least she's not crying anymore, which Ben counts as a little win. There’s still a lot to work through for her, he knows this because he’s lived through that as well, but he equally knows he’ll be there for her every step of the way. And so will Callum.

The only thing he can offer her right now is support. And maybe one of their favorite things to do together.

“Wanna go get a McFlurry?”

The beaming smile he gets for his suggestion is mirrored on his own face. He knows the way to get her to smile is through sweets, she’s his daughter after all.

“Yes, please.”

“Just don’t tell your dad, yeah?”


	5. benmitchellweek - day 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> written for day 2 of benmitchellweek for the prompt "I don’t care if I get sick, just let me cuddle with you"
> 
> rated t, fluff, mentions of sickness (just a stomach bug), cuddling

Callum wakes up with a start, eyes blinking open in the darkness of the bedroom. There’s a strip of white casted along the far wall, illuminated by the streetlamp outside, the room otherwise bathed in the dark blues of the night. It takes him a while to reach full consciousness, the last remnants of sleep clinging to his brain and not wanting to let go just yet.

He reaches out across the strip of mattress in front of him and finds it empty and cold. He doesn’t know what he expected, he knows Ben isn’t there. Lexi had a stomach bug a couple of days ago that no one except for Ben was lucky enough to catch. So they reluctantly decided that Ben was going to spend a few nights and days on the couch downstairs so Callum wouldn’t get sick right when he’s supposed to start his new career path as a support officer. 

Callum had insisted that his immune system was strong enough as it is and that they didn’t need to separate but Ben hadn’t budged, not wanting to risk Callum getting sick and missing work. It’s great; this unshaken support Ben has for him and everything he wants to do even when this is the third career change since they’ve gotten together. It feels right though, more right than his time in the active police force ever did, and he’s more than ready to start helping people - for real this time.

He would be less nervous about it all though, if he had Ben with him these last few nights.

He tries to fall back asleep for a few more minutes until he accepts that sleep isn’t coming to him right now. _2:46_ is what his phone on the nightstand says, his lock screen - the picture of him, Ben and Lexi sitting together under the Christmas tree - staring back at him and only making him miss the warm embrace of his boyfriend more.

He gives it a couple more minutes until he sighs and makes his way downstairs, sneaking across the landing to avoid making any noise that could wake up the rest of the house.

He’s only planning to go to the kitchen to get another glass of water but the urge to at least look at Ben is too strong to resist. He pushes the door to the living room open carefully, twisting his head around to look at the little nest of blankets and pillows he had made for Ben when he had started showing signs of being sick. 

To his surprise, the room isn’t completely covered in darkness with Ben being fast asleep. Instead, there’s a tiny source of light coming from Ben's phone that’s propped up against a mug on the couch table, playing some video in hushed tones. Ben’s facing the screen but he isn’t looking captivated or interested in any way, he just looks tired. Like he’s trying everything to fall asleep but can’t quite manage it. Callum can relate to that.

Normally, Ben falls asleep about midway through a movie when they’re watching something in bed at night, but it doesn’t seem like he’s successful with that tactic now, his eyes not even fluttering shut like they normally are. Callum is selfish enough to believe that what’s missing for Ben right now is him carding his fingers through his hair.

“Hey, what are you doing awake?”

Ben startles a little when he registers Callum’s voice from the door, obviously not having noticed him coming in. He gives Callum a small smile and Callum is relieved to see he’s looking better by now, not as ashen as the days before.

“Can’t sleep.”

It’s accompanied by a little shrug, or what’s definitely supposed to be a shrug with Ben buried under the big, fluffy blanket. Callum steps forward into the room, gently closing the door behind him, his glass of water completely forgotten about in favor of having a few moments with his boyfriend.

“You feeling sick?”

It’s been hard watching Ben being in pain and not being able to help him. It made him feel more than useless, not being able to do more than make tea and bringing him medicine these last few days. He meant what he said all these months ago to Phil; he wants to take care of his family.

“Nah, just missing you.”

There’s a glint in his eyes, the light still coming from his phone making them seem almost silver, a sly smile making its way onto his face.

“Yeah, me too.”

Callum walks over to the couch, crouching down to kneel in front of Ben. It’s the closest to each other they’ve been in days and it’s so hard to resist the force pulling him to him; always pulling him closer. They’re just looking at each other for a moment, taking in their fill, letting their eyes wander over soft features and smooth skin. After another moment, Callum brings his hand up to run it over Ben’s hair, flat on his head from laying on it all day, Ben’s eyes falling shut at the touch.

“Cal, you’ll get sick. Go back to bed.”

It’s a conversation they’ve had time and time again these last couple of days, whenever one of them has to be reminded to keep their distance or to not touch the other, to not spend so much time in each other’s company. It’s really shown how co-dependent they’ve become since getting together and how much they need the other’s touch and comfort.

“I don’t care if I get sick, just let me cuddle with you.”

Ben looks like he wants to argue with him, insist on keeping their distance, but there are matching bags under both of their eyes and Callum just wants one decent night's sleep in the arms of his boyfriend. He knows that Ben’s resolve is weak at best and by the looks of it, it breaks away completely not even a second later.

Because Ben just shuffles backwards on the couch, making as much space as he can on the cramped, yellow piece of furniture, lifting up the blanket so Callum can crawl under it as well. One of his arms snakes around Callum’s waist to rest against his chest and he presses a small kiss to his nape before placing his forehead against it, enjoying Callum’s warmth seeping into his skin - his own personal hot water bottle.

Callum does end up being sick his first full week on the job but it’s worth it in the end, because he can finally fall asleep with the love of his life again.


	6. benmitchellweek - day 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 3 of benmitchellweek for the prompt “So none of it was real? You didn’t mean any of it?"
> 
> rated t, alternate universe, actors!au, getting together, arguing

“So none of it was real? You didn’t mean any of it?”

“Course not. I only said it to push you away, to protect you. I, I love you. With every fibre of my being.”

“Cut!”

Ben lets his hand fall away from Callum’s face, letting out a long sigh. It’s the sixth take they’re on and even he can tell that the scene is bad. And for once, he has to admit that it’s not just down to the ridiculously cheesy script but to him and his co-star.

Ben wasn’t averse to his new love interest being a man; he’s always played his character as very open-minded anyway and it’s definitely paying off in terms of promotion. The general public and the fans online are ecstatic about the representation and it’s proving to be a huge factor in drawing in audiences for the third and last part of the trilogy he’s starring in.

He’s loath to admit though, that a lot of that draw comes from the casting announcement of one Callum Highway.

Callum Highway, who apparently has quite some experience as a theatre actor and has built up a decent-sized following from being on some TV show - that’s according to Ben’s agent at least. Callum Highway, who’s supposed to play his love interest now. Only, the chemistry between them just isn’t there. Or rather, there _is_ chemistry, it just really isn’t a romantic one.

It’s quite the opposite in fact.

Things had been fine at the screen test; they had gotten along great and there had been this unspoken draw between them. Their director Matt had been ecstatic and had casted Callum almost on the spot. But ever since they started filming things have taken a turn for the worse; they’re snapping at each other constantly, making snide remarks and only pretending to like each other for the press outings.

It’s even worse that Ben feels like absolute shit whenever he gives Callum a rude response and sees the flash of hurt in his eyes. He doesn’t even know how or why it started but the fact that he feels so bad about it all and has to think about it, and him, constantly just adds to his frustration.

Their director stands up from his chair behind the screens, ripping off his headset and rubbing his hands over his eyes.

“Alright, that’s it for the day. We’ll try this scene again tomorrow. You two better use tonight to practice. I want that scene perfect tomorrow and I want to actually feel like you two are madly in love with each other. Understand?”

They both murmur an affirmative, not brave enough to look their director in the eyes but instead glaring daggers at each other.

It’s how they find themselves in Callum’s trailer later that night, going through the script again and again, trying and failing to get this scene right.

“You could at least try to make it seem like your character wants to be there with mine, you know.”

Callum throws his copy of the script on the little table beside them, running his hands over his face in frustration. It’s not working out any better than it did this afternoon; they’re still wooden and lacking any believable chemistry, and it’s setting both of their nerves on edge. They only have a couple of hours to get it right and Ben really doesn’t want to be the reason this movie is getting delayed.

“I can only work with what I’m given, alright.”

When Ben looks up from his own script, he sees Callum’s mouth dropping open, eyebrows knitting together. It was the wrong thing to say - _again_ \- that much is clear from the way Callum’s face morphs into anger, and Ben regrets it immediately. Him and his big mouth and penchant for lashing out at everyone around him.

“God, you’re so fucking full off yourself, aren’t you. You know, I was proper excited about working with you because you always seem so funny and charming in your interviews but it’s all just acting, isn’t it. You’re really just jealous and insecure.”

It’s the first time Callum has ever raised his voice or been outright rude to him and to be honest, Ben doesn’t like this. They hit a little too close to home; his words. His first instinct is to fight back, spit back words full of venom at Callum as well, but he can’t. He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t want to hurt Callum; he never did.

It seems like Callum was also expecting him to give a retort back, because when Ben simply falls silent and looks at the ground, he immediately steps forward to apologize. Ben thinks he really is something else because he definitely deserved Callum going off on him and him saying sorry now just confirms that he’s a much better person than Ben could ever be.

“Ben, I’m so sorry.”

Ben tries to clear his throat and go back to business, but for some reason there’s a lump in his windpipe he can’t seem to swallow back down.

“Let’s just do the scene.”

“Hang on. I feel bad ab-”

“Let’s just do the damn scene, Callum, yeah. Let’s get this over with so we can finish this stupid movie.”

He’s getting louder now, his voice sounding more desperate than he intended to. This doesn’t happen to him, he doesn’t lose his cool over a guy, his co-star, who’s probably not even into guys. But his heart keeps screaming at him to reach out and touch Callum, to just fall into his arms and not care about the rest of the world.

But it’s not that easy. Callum just made it clear what he thinks of Ben and that he messed everything up beyond the point of fixing. And Ben does what he’s always done, what he’s come to know since he was a child, he pushes people away before they can detect any vulnerability and use it to their advantage. It doesn’t matter that Callum doesn’t seem like the type of guy to do that, his self-preservation is screaming at him to do it.

“Is it really that much of a chore for you to play with me? What did I ever do to you, Ben?”

It’s what breaks the dam. What makes everything Ben’s tried so hard to keep hidden and locked away since they’ve begun filming bubble over and break out of him.

“You know what? It is! It is a chore to see your stupid, pretty face every day, to hear your voice everywhere I go, to not get you out of my damn head. You’re always there, Callum, and I hate it. And even when you’re not there, I can’t stop thinking about you. So let’s just finish this movie so I can get over you.”

He regrets saying anything the second the words leave his mouth, watching Callum’s mouth drop open in astonishment. There’s complete silence between them, the eerie quiet of the otherwise abandoned movie set providing no background distraction, and all Ben can do is wait it out and deal with the fallout. The only silver lining is that the movie is almost done, so if Callum is about to reject him and throw him out of his trailer he at least only has a few more days and some press events to get through before he can start to repress this whole situation.

He doesn’t get thrown out. What ultimately happens is something entirely different. Callum moves forward, face hard and determined, both of his hands coming up to take Ben’s face securely in them, tilting his head up. Ben is trying to keep up with the situation but all of a sudden there are soft lips pressing against his - _Callum’s_ lips. 

No camera or crew or script to be found.

Ben’s kissing back instinctively, threading his fingers into the soft material of Callum’s hoodie. There are some desperate noises escaping his throat without his say but Callum answers one of them with a groan on his own so Ben feels less bad about them, slipping his tongue into Callum’s welcoming mouth.

When they eventually part again, their foreheads stay close against each other, small smiles on both of their faces.

“I wasn’t sure you liked men.”, Ben confesses quietly, trying to justify why he’s let this simmer until it eventually spewed out of him.

“I immediately said yes to this project. Because of you. I just wanted to get to know you.”

“We’re idiots, aren’t we. At least I am. I’m sorry.”

Callum seals their lips back together, one hand curling into Ben’s hair and the other running down his chest until it finds Ben’s, tangling their fingers together.

“Guess we don’t have to worry about chemistry anymore.”


	7. benmitchellweek - day 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 4 of benmitchellweek for the prompt "i haven’t looked at these pictures in years.”
> 
> rated t, established relationship, past character death, hurt/comfort

Ben has never really thought about what he considered his ‘home’. A long time ago, home meant the hot sun of South Africa, warm hugs and his mother’s perfume. Then, it meant being shifted from one house to the other, bruises on his skin and his dad’s disapprovement. Not so long ago, it meant bouncing from household to household, dragging his daughter and her mother with him like a couple of nomads.

Now though, home means a person. Means big hands, a warm smile and unconditional love.

It means a two-story house across the square from his dad’s, ready to be moved into by him and Callum. They finalized the purchase last week, now proud owners of No.1 Albert Square, and since then they’ve cleaned and painted and bickered with each other. All that’s left for them to do now is to pack up their stuff in their current home and carry it across the square to their future one.

It’s what Ben’s doing right now, trying to fit their life into the few cardboard boxes they bought, while Callum is across the street assembling furniture with Stuart and Jay. He’s currently rifling through their closet, divvying the things into piles labeled ‘keep’ and ‘toss’. He’s already found long-forgotten belongings from years of stuffing things into this closet - old magazines, little trinkets and just downright garbage.

It’s when he pulls out the dark green box from the back corner of the closet though, that he falls backwards onto the carpet, staring at the lid for a moment. He hasn’t looked at the contents of the box in years, but he knows every little thing that’s stored in there. He knows Callum has a similar box to this one, filled with letters and an old beret, but while Callum was willing to share these things with Ben, Ben hasn’t been able to lift the lid and let Callum look at them yet.

Because looking at these things still hurts. It still feels like someone is inside his rib cage squeezing his heart whenever he even thinks about one of the items in there. He wishes he could talk about it more, talk about _him_ more, but Ben still feels like he’s only allowed to talk about Paul a couple of days a year. And it’s even harder to talk to Callum about it, because there’s always the guilt coming with it that he doesn’t deserve to move on and be so happy with someone else, while Paul never got that chance.

Ben is so focused on staring at the green box that he doesn’t even notice Callum joining him in the room until he sinks down onto the ground beside him, carefully running his hand over Ben’s back. 

“You okay?”

Ben wants to sound out a yes, wants to assure him that he’s fine, but no words are coming past his lips. Callum knows what this box is about, but because he’s the best possible partner for Ben, he’s never pushed him on it, knowing that he needs more time to talk about this; to get over this huge chasm created by Paul’s loss.

“I haven’t looked at these pictures in years. Or anything else in there.”

“You don’t have to.”

Ben blows out a long breath, shaking his hands like there’s some sort of imaginary weight on them he has to lift, before he carefully goes to lift the lid of the box, revealing the contents inside. Callum tries not to crane his neck in curiosity but to wait it out until Ben is ready.

The first thing Ben pulls out of the box is a weathered, crumpled receipt from the bottom of the box, smoothing it between two of his fingers. He regards it for a moment, a small smile forming on his face.

“I planned this date for us at Ian’s when we actually got together for real. It was just some burger and chips really but we got all dressed up. It was - _he_ was - beautiful.”

Ben looks like he’s somewhere far away, stuck in the memory, and all Callum can do is rub his hand soothingly over the wide planes of his back.

“Sounds lovely.”

There’s a card in there Ben takes into his hands next, running his thumb over the logo of the tattoo studio not far from here. 

It’s not there anymore, the black ink long gone and replaced by red, marred skin, but the ghost of it lingers. Whether it’s covered by one of his bulky rings or left bare, the memory of it is always there.

“Do you regret it sometimes? Getting rid of it?”

Callum’s voice is low and careful when he poses the question, looking at Ben attentively to gather his reaction. They’ve never openly talked about the tattoo since Ben drunkenly brought it up all that time ago at the housewarming party and that one time Callum had absentmindedly started playing with Ben’s ring, which had caused Ben to get out of bed rather quickly.

“I was in a bad place when I did it. It was the first anniversary I was all alone and… I couldn’t take it anymore. I reckon, I would’ve done it sooner than later.”

Ben doesn’t elaborate any further and thankfully, Callum doesn’t ask either, just letting him get back to his memories.

He pulls out a photo next and tilts it towards Callum to show it off. It shows Ben with Paul, Pam and Les in front of Cokers’, all dressed up and smiling into the camera.

“That was one of the last photos we took. We planned to manage Cokers‘ together - imagine that, I would’ve been your boss - and live in the flat with each other. I always have to think about it; that I ruined our last days together. Because I wasn’t comfortable yet, cause I let my dad get to me.”

“I bet he didn’t feel that way. He knew it takes time to accept yourself. He was willing to work it out with you, to wait for you.”

Ben isn’t sure if they’re still talking about him and Paul or Callum and him right now but he does see the similarities. It warms his heart a little that he was able to be someone to Callum like Paul had been to him. Someone to trust and look for guidance to. It makes him feel like a slightly better person than he probably, definitely, is.

“I still feel so guilty. About moving on, about being so happy with you, about the future I want with you. I think I always will.”

It’s hard to admit that to Callum, because the last thing Ben wants is for Callum to feel bad about this or like Ben is blaming him even just one tiny bit. But for really the first time in his entire life he has someone next to him he can be completely honest with and Callum deserves to be let in by Ben, even with the things Ben’s reluctant to share with anyone other than himself.

“He’d want you to be happy though. And I bet he’d be proud of you, of who you‘ve become. And he’d want you to have your happy ever after.”

Ben doesn’t know if he completely agrees with what Callum is saying. 

He often wonders what Paul would think about everything. What would he say about Ben being a real, full-blown dad to Lexi and absolutely loving it? Would he like Callum despite the fact that he gets to live the life with Ben they had imagined? What would he say about Ben turning the car lot and the Arches around and making good profit with them? Does he think the ring, already safely stored away from Callum in one of the boxes, is a good idea?

“Will you be that?”

It’s the first time Ben fully faces him, letting the photo fall back into the box in the process. He can feel the tears fighting their way up into his eyes but he swallows them down for now, because this is supposed to be a joyous day; the first day in their own home. He just needs the physical confirmation that Callum is in this with him again and that he won’t leave - at least, not if he can help it.

“If you let me.”

Callum pulls Ben into him, letting him fall into his chest and bury his head underneath his chin. Callum presses his lips to Ben’s forehead and Ben feels so, so much conveyed in that one simple action. That he’ll always love him, will always protect him, will always be there for him. A sentiment, Ben is all too ready to reciprocate.

Because he really wants Callum to be his happy ever after as well.


	8. benmitchellweek - day 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 5 of benmitchellweek for the prompt "is that supposed to be a challenge?”
> 
> rated t, alternate universe, meet cute, chef!callum

Ben doesn’t actually need to do any washing at the laundromat. They have a perfectly good washing machine at the house. It’s just that the one time Karen asked him to drop by the laundrette because she had something for Lexi, there was this guy sitting in one of the chairs by the machines, completely engrossed in a book.

And because Ben is a complete idiot, he purposefully went by the laundrette as often as he could to find out if that guy using it was a one off or if he goes there regularly, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to ask Karen about him.

He feels a bit like some creepy stalker but it only takes him a couple of weeks to figure out that the guy does his washing there every two weeks on a Friday afternoon, always round about the same time. 

He doesn’t know what it is about the guy, they haven’t even spoken or anything, but there is just something to him that captures Ben's attention in a way no one has done for a very long time. He thinks it’s maybe the nicely-kept stubble that decorates his cheeks or the soft looking brown hair. Or maybe it’s the absolutely captivating blue of his eyes that he got to see when their eyes met that one time he was passing by.

Whatever it is, it’s enough to make Ben regress into a teenager with a crush again, trying to get the cute guy to notice him. He must be new around here, since Albert Square is a place where everyone knows everyone and he definitely doesn’t know who this guy is. He’d like to, but he doesn’t. He hasn’t seen him around the market, or in the chippy, or even in the Vic and it only adds to this weird fascination Ben has developed.

A fascination he’s tried hard to keep hidden, especially from the mother of his child, but apparently he hasn’t been as successful as he thought he’d been.

“Ben, you can’t go there every week until he notices you. It’s dead creepy.”

“Is that supposed to be a challenge?”

Lola’s rolling her eyes at him over her cup of coffee, checking to see if their daughter is still playing idly on the swings. They’ve used the rare occurrence where they both have the afternoon off to take her to the park and it made Ben realize that he has missed spending time with both of them like this. Yeah, they live together but they rarely spend time together as just the three of them. Normally, they’re always doing something with his mum, or his dad, or Jay. And while he loves the rest of his family, it’s still nice to spend time with his mate and their daughter.

Even if all she does is tease him about his crush on laundromat guy.

“So ask him out next time.”

Ben shakes his head while taking a sip from his own coffee, giving his daughter a cheer when she screams over at them to look how high she’s getting.

“I can’t. I’ve never said a word to him before.”

“So you just sit in the same room as him and stare at him until your washing is done? That’s somehow even worse, Ben. Besides, that fact has never stopped you before, has it?”

This is different though. He doesn’t want to pick the guy up and take him home with him. He wants to get to know him, maybe go to dinner with him and listen to him talk about the book he’s currently reading. It’s a new thing for him; to be so invested in someone he doesn’t know that the physical aspect of it all doesn’t even come into play until later. It’s unnerving to say the least, because it means that he’s completely out of his element with this.

Not that he’s going to give any of that information to Lola right now. She’ll only tease him more, call him ‘in love’ probably.

He’s about to give a retort when he catches a glimpse of tall brown hair and that lean body across the square. The guy’s stepping out of his brother’s old restaurant they’ve been trying to sell for a while now, some papers in one hand while shaking his mum’s with the other.

“Shit, Lo, that’s him.”

Lola follows his gaze to laundromat guy and they’re both watching him say goodbye to Ben’s mother with a bright smile on his face, before he disappears down the street.

“Oh, he’s fit. If he ain’t gay send him my way, please.”

“For your fiancé and my brothers sake, I’ll pretend I didn’t hear that.”

They exchange a small laugh with each other, knowing it’s all in jest.

“You should ask your mom what they were doing though. Saves you from stalking that poor bloke any longer.”

Turns out, laundromat guy’s name is Callum and he’s the one who bought his brother’s old space. Apparently, he’s new here and plans to open his own restaurant. He’s only a few years older than Ben and is a very nice, young man - according to his mother anyway. She also informs him that she’s invited Callum to this week’s Friday dinner. A fact, that Ben only freaks out about a little. Honestly.

The day the dinner finally rolls around he’s more than a little nervous. No one but Lola knows about his little infatuation with Callum and he desperately hopes that no one will embarrass him tonight. If everything goes well, he’s going to ask Callum out on a date later and hopefully, they’ll end up dating and Callum can cook delicious food for him for the rest of their lives. At least, that’s what Ben envisions.

Him and Lola are already settled around the laid table, while Lexi is still upstairs washing her hands and his mom is putting the finishing touches on their dinner, when the doorbell rings.

“Oh, I’ll get it. That must be Callum.”

His mom is practically running from the kitchen at the sound, almost looking like she’s the one hoping to score a date with Callum. Ben looks over at the doorway when the sound of two voices mingling gets louder, trying to ignore Lola’s teasing smile next to him, failing to not get lost in the smooth tones of Callum’s voice.

Ben feels his mouth go a little dry when they finally step into the living room, because Callum looks gorgeous. He’s wearing a crisp, white dress shirt and tight, black jeans and his hair is as nicely gelled as it normally is when they’re seeing each other at the laundrette. He’s still holding a bottle of wine in his hands and Ben is overcome with the urge to feel one of his large hands in his.

His eyes shine with recognition when he meets Ben’s gaze and he sends him a small smile; one, Ben can’t help but return.

“Callum, this is Ben and Lola. Lola’s fiancé Jay is joining us later, he’s still at work.”

“And our daughter Lexi is still upstairs but she’s going to, no doubt, bombard you with questions about your restaurant soon.”

Callum lets out a small laugh at that, although he momentarily had a weird look on his face when Ben mentioned their daughter. He really hopes that it isn’t down to Callum not liking kids; it’d definitely be a dealbreaker for Ben.

The dinner goes extremely well, despite the awkwardness from earlier. Callum is great with Lexi; answering every single one of her questions with ease and patience and Lola had to nudge him quite a bit to not overdo the heart eyes when looking at Callum interacting with his daughter. He’s charming and funny and honestly has a great vision for his future restaurant.

Ben is nothing short of enamored with him.

Somehow, they find themselves in the kitchen together. Ben did some washing up so that his mum could sit back and relax a little and Callum joined him when he came in to get another beer. It’s almost sickenly domestic and once they were done with it, they stayed in here to continue chatting in peace, away from the loud chatter that’s filling up the living room, especially with Jay having joined them now.

It’s nice; they’ve figured out that they have quite a lot in common and Ben is almost certain that Callum is flirting with him from time to time. One thing in particular they’ve learned is that they’re both gay.

“Oh, I assumed because of Lexi that you’re straight. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s a long story, but I’m definitely into guys.”

“Good to know.”

They’re just swaying back and forth in his kitchen, matching dopey smiles on their faces, and Ben is pretty sure that Callum’s going to say yes to that date after all. It makes him giddy with excitement; warmth and hope blooming in his chest at the prospect of it. He’s about to ask Callum, when the door opens and Jay walks in, straight to the fridge and completely unaware of the obvious, romantic tension filling the kitchen. Callum doesn’t seem that bothered though, not really paying Jay any more attention right now.

“You know, I’ve always wanted to come say hi when I saw you at the laundrette. I don’t know why I didn’t, but maybe next time we could go grab a coffee while we’re waiting?”

Ben is ready to say yes to Callum’s suggestion when Jay turns around and gives them a confused look, interrupting their moment.

“What are you going to the laundrette for? You have a perfectly fine washing machine right here.”

Jay doesn’t stick around for the fallout; only shaking his head and exiting the kitchen again, leaving Ben behind to drown in embarrassment. When he opens his eyes again - and when had he closed them anyway - Callum is looking at him with barely concealed amusement and Ben would really like the ground to swallow him up right now, please and thank you.

“Okay so I might’ve gone there a few times just to see you. I’d love to go for that coffee though, if you still want to.”

When Callum steps forward into his space, he settles both of his hands on Ben’s neck, using them to pull him the rest of the way into his own body. Ben thinks it’s heavenly how great they fit together until Callum seals their lips together in a soft kiss and then he knows what’s really heaven - the feeling of Callum’s lips on his own and his skin under Ben’s fingertips. 

It’s only a short kiss but it leaves Ben with an explosion of butterflies in his stomach, spreading all the way throughout his body.

“I still want to.”

Ben can’t wait for it. He’ll ask about Callum cooking him dinner later.


	9. benmitchellweek - day 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> day 6 of benmitchellweek for the prompt "you forgot to give me a kiss before you left. do that again and i will dump you.” not gonna lie, this is my favorite one for this week.
> 
> rating t, future fic, slice of life, pure fluff

Ben feels like he’s been hit by a lorry; his arms are aching from the continuous weight on them from half the night and he’s so incredibly tired he thinks he could sleep for a week right now. When he finally slumps down the stairs and into the kitchen, ready to pour himself a big mug of coffee so he can survive the morning, he’s surprised to see that Callum is still there, rummaging through the mess on their kitchen counters they were too exhausted to clean up yesterday.

It’s not an uncommon scene in their home lately, one of them rifling through piles of toys and other stuff to find something that is, but Ben is pretty sure Callum was supposed to leave ten minutes ago for work.

“What are you still doing here?”

Callum only gives him a cursory glance, too busy with whatever he’s looking for right now. He abandons the mess on the counter and looks through the things gathered on the kitchen table, while Ben pours himself a coffee, foregoing any milk because he’ll definitely need the caffeine to tackle the state of their house after this. Who knew kids were so incredibly messy?

“Can’t find my damn keys. They must be here somewhere, I know I let Ellie play with them yesterday.”

“Just drop me a text later and I’ll be here.”

He planned to take Ellie to his mum’s and to the park today but he can easily do that while Callum’s at work and be back here in time to let him in, should he leave without his keys.

“No, I need them. My office key is on there.”

It’s still a little funny to Ben that Callum has his own office now, where he’s solving cases and looking up fingerprints and doing his badass detective stuff - at least that’s what Ben imagines it’s like. Callum has not let him visit his office yet, because apparently he assumes that Ben would only be interested in having a quickie on Callum’s desk - and it’s not like he’s that wrong with this assessment.

After another moment, Callum unearths his keyring from beyond a pile of papers Ben’s pretty sure belong to the car lot budget, grinning at Ben in triumph.

“Right, I’m off. See you later. I love you. Give Ellie a kiss from me when she wakes up again.”

Callum rushes everything out in one long word, no pauses in-between, before disappearing through the back door, completely missing Ben waiting for his goodbye kiss next to it, lips already puckered. 

It’s childish and petty, especially since he knows Callum is rushing to get to work on time, but Ben is tired from a sleepless night of taking care of their baby and he just really needs a kiss from Callum right now to get through the day.

So he grabs his phone from the counter and dials Callum’s number; always sure that he’s going to pick up when Ben’s name lights up his screen. And Ben doesn’t waste any time when he does.

“You forgot to give me a kiss before you left. Do that again and I will dump you.”

He hangs up before Callum even has the chance to respond and when it only takes a few minutes before the door swings open again, Ben has to suppress the biggest grin. Callum is on him before Ben can even get a word out, pressing one, two, three kisses to his lips. When he leans backwards again, there’s a smirk on Callum’s face and Ben is feeling a little dazed.

“You can’t dump me. I locked you down for life, babe.”

Callum holds his hand up as proof, golden wedding band glistening in the early morning light of the kitchen.

“I think you find I locked _you_ down, Callum Mitchell. Name and all.”

It still amazes him sometimes that there are matching rings adorning both their fingers, that they share one name that’s on the nameplate above the door, that they’re legal _parents_ of another little girl now. He didn’t think he’d get this, the house full of photos of his own family and the loving and supporting husband next to him, but now that he has it he never wants to go a day without it all ever again.

His arms wrap around Callum’s waist, Callum’s coming to rest on top of his shoulders and meeting behind his head. They’re smiling dopily at each other and Ben loves that they can still be like this, just love-struck idiots, even after the years they’ve spent with each other and how utterly domestic they’ve become since moving into their own house with the kids. That above all they’re still them and that there’s still that fire, that magnetic pull between them at all times.

Their mouths find each other again in an unhurried slide of lips against each other. Ben’s tightening his arms around Callum, his hands coming up to rest against Callum’s shoulder blades. He gives one little, teasing kitten lick to Callum’s lips when he leans backwards, watching him chase after Ben’s lips for a second.

“Thought you were late?”

“You know what?”

Callum’s hands travel over his shoulders and down to his hips, walking him a few steps backwards towards their kitchen table. In one swoop, he flings some of the things stacked on top off of it and down onto the ground - Ben grimaces briefly because he’s pretty sure there are other important documents like papers about their mortgage and Lexi’s report card in the pile - and Ben is thankful that no dishes are being smashed along the way when Callum lifts him onto the now cleared space. 

“I think they’ll manage without me for another hour.”

On second thought, cleaning the house can wait.


	10. benmitchellweek - day 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last day of benmitchellweek with the theme free choice. a huge thank you for all the comments, kudos and all the people who read these little stories this past week! <3
> 
> rated t, alternate universe, politician!callum, businessman!ben, secret relationship

“You sure you have to leave?”

“My flight leaves at one, you have that charity thing to go to and we both know neither of us is going to make it when we’re both staying in this hotel room.”

Callum has to admit that Ben’s right. There’s no way they’re getting anything done if they were to stay here together, except maybe do each other. But Ben has a daughter to get home to and Callum has to get ready to mingle with other politicians at this charity event tonight. It’s always like this: one of them has to leave and Callum is always left to yearn for the next time they get to see each other.

They met at one of those award ceremonies that rewards the ‘brightest young stars on the business firmament’, with Callum presenting the prize to a sharply dressed Ben with a mouth suddenly as dry as the desert.

Three shared drinks and one subtly exchanged key card later, Callum had fallen into Ben’s hotel bed for the night - or rather, had been pushed into it. Things had continued from there on, with both of them trying to see how many events they could attend that just so happen to be in the same city.

They’re in Callum’s hotel room right now, the sight outside the window the stunning view of the Eiffel Tower bathed in the early hues of the morning sun, and it really is a shame to watch Ben put on his clothes while Callum’s still naked and tangled in sheets that carry the smell of both of their aftershaves.

But Ben never stays for more than one night in a place; always desperate to get home to his daughter as soon as he can. Callum likes that about him; likes that his daughter is his number one priority, way more important than any money he can make with expanding his successful dealership with luxury cars any further.

It’s honorable and not to mention pretty hot.

Callum takes a look around the room while trying to figure out how he can say what he wants to. The sheets are still rumpled from a long night with not much sleep, pillows strewn across the floor and champagne flutes still on the table in the corner. They got room service some time between the rounds and the remnants of that are also still on the table. 

It’s getting increasingly difficult not to get caught up in this thing they’ve had going on for several months now and Callum finds it harder and harder to walk away from Ben.

It’s kind of tragic in a way. They’re always so close to each other in London, just a couple tube stops on the District line separating their homes, yet they can’t seem to link their lives there. Ben has told him before that the stuffy way politics work isn’t for him and Callum wouldn’t even know what to do with himself if he wasn’t in politics. But the more he gets to see Ben, the more he thinks that there is a life beyond his current career for him after all. 

A life with Ben and his daughter and a house on the outskirts of London perhaps.

“You could come with me to this charity thing you know.”

Ben barely looks up from where he’s buckling his belt, working on buttoning his shirt back up next.

“Yeah? And what are you gonna tell the reporters? That I’m the guy you plan your schedule around so we can take turns fucking each other into the mattress? Don’t think your squeaky clean image would survive that, Mr. Politician.”

“Ben…”

Callum scooches down the bed towards Ben’s smaller frame, the duvet falling away from his body and pooling around his legs in the process. The action makes Ben halt his movements, shirt still half unbuttoned, and draws his eyes to the flat curve of Callum’s dick. Callum pulls the flimsy sheet back over his lap; this isn’t really a conversation where he wants to have his dick out.

“You know you’re more than that, right. To me.”

It’s the truth. Although they’ve never discussed any exclusivity or deeper feelings with each other, there isn’t anyone else for Callum; hasn’t been since he met Ben. And while Ben might be joking about them scheduling things around their little meetings, Callum will absolutely shift around any important meetings in Parliament just so he can meet up with Ben in Venice or Hamburg or Paris.

“Callum-”

“No, I like you. A lot. I like being with you. Not just having sex but spending time with you, getting to know you well.”

He knows that this means more to Ben as well. That he feels the same way Callum does about them. He knows, because he can taste it in the way Ben kisses him when they finally get to see each other again. Can feel it in the almost reverent way he touches him when they’re moving together and can sense it in every hold they share afterwards when they’re tangled with each other like knots.

Ben has this look in his eyes again; he’s seen it before deep in the night when they’re lying in bed only illuminated by the little lamp on the nightstand, or when he’s in the audience watching Callum give a speech on the importance of equal access to education for children. It’s this soft, warm look that makes all the weeks of longing for Ben in-between their rendezvous bearable in the end.

Nothing could ever make Callum feel more desirable than this look.

Ben steps forward to lean over the bed, taking Callum’s face into both of his hands. He’s brushing his thumbs back and forth over Callum’s skin in a tender gesture and this alone will make it even harder to say goodbye to him today. It’s been getting more and more difficult with every single time and each time he sees Ben slinging his bag over his shoulder and closing the door behind him tugs at his resolve to keep this thing between them hidden and casual.

“I like you too, Cal. A lot. But I’m not First Husband material and I’m not expecting you to settle for me, I don’t _want_ you to. So let’s just enjoy what we have now, okay.”

Callum wants to argue against it, assure him that he’d never consider it _settling_ for Ben, but choosing him, but he doesn’t want this time to end badly or in an emotional argument. They’re going to see each other again in two weeks at yet another business event and Callum desperately wants to avoid Ben cancelling that just because he suddenly decided to spill his feelings for him while Ben literally has one foot out the door.

So Callum just nods and accepts the kiss Ben is all too ready to give him, slipping his tongue inside just to remind Ben what he’s saying no to right now.

“I’ll text you when I land, yeah. Keep you entertained between all these stuffy politicians.”

Callum already knows this means Ben will send him increasingly dirty texts during the event, that he’ll sadly have to delete immediately just in case, all while Callum’s getting more and more frustrated at being so far away from him.

When Ben has gathered all of his things from the nightstand, and some from the floor, bundled up in his jacket and ready to go, he gives Callum once last deep kiss.

“I’ll see you in Rome then.”

Callum runs his nose along Ben’s, pressing one more peck onto his lips for good measure, before he’s watching him make his way to the door.

“Can’t wait.”

It’s what he leaves Ben with, and what Ben leaves him with is one more wink and that look where he’s sad at leaving Callum but trying hard not to let it show.

Ben doesn’t know it yet, won’t know it for at least a couple more weeks until he’s being invited to a press conference, but this is the moment Callum decides to end his career.


End file.
